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Friday, February 10, 2012

Desperately seeking a Soul Mate???

It's pretty hard to ignore all the Valentine Day's hype that's out there.  It seems to have started even earlier this year and it seems like this weekend is "Valentine Weekend" as opposed to just one day on the 14th. I guess a marketing opportunity is not be missed, especially during tougher economic times.  I still feel the same way about Valentine's Day that I did last year.  I still think adults can learn from teenagers and I believe teenagers are changing the world. I hope they take over the advertising world soon rather than continue to be the targeted market.

I see lots of  hype this year to "find your soul mate".  Weeks ago I started seeing this in arenas that I consider a bit more "spiritually advanced" than mainstream advertising and that really disappointed me. I saw workshops designed to help you connect with spirit guides and angels to find your soul mate. I've seen offerings of  special readings designed so you could find just who your soul mate is, where they might be living in the world, or if they were in fact the person you thought they were. It seems like now we're connecting Valentine's day with an increased quest for a mate for our soul and according to experts we need help to do that.

See, the thing is, I don't believe any one's soul needs a mate!  In my opinion, your soul is absolutely, 100%, perfectly complete, all on it's on.  I do believe you can feel a bit separated from your soul. I think this happens when we don't feel good about the individual path we are on, or become confused about our direction in life- a bit "off track" from our goals and happiness.

That kind of separation can cause real angst of that I'm sure. But I believe it's dangerous to try and fix that angst by an external means. Finding the connection to your soul is a personal endeavor. No one else can do that for you. You don't need someone else to do that for you.  And another person, or another soul cannot "complete" you, despite the temptation to believe that.

To think that someone else's love or admiration of you can solve all your problems, make you feel safe, secure, loved, and fulfilled is the attraction of the marketed "soul mate finding solution".  It's what a lot of dating services rely on. The idea that someone else can fix your inner self just doesn't add up. It can be a welcome distraction to divert yourself away from internal searching. It's a great procrastination tool. It can also ultimately cause a lot of pain and take you further away from trust in self.

Collins Canadian Dictionary defines soul mate as " a person with whom one gets along well because of having shared interests and experiences".  So, by definition, a soul mate is just a "good buddy".  Nothing wrong with that!  It would seem, according to the definition, that you could and perhaps should, have multiple soul mates. There is nothing in the definition that suggests a soul mate is someone that "completes you" or fills any void or gap.  The definition seems much lighter than that and seems to be another way of describing a friend. By definition then, I think we all  need as many soul mates as we can find.

Collins Canadian Dictionary also defines soul-searching as "deep examination of one's actions and feelings". That seems like pretty independent action. There's no mention of a mate in there.  If you have independently searched your soul and examined how you want to act and what makes you feel good, then you should have an easier time finding a buddy or two that share similar actions, motivations and feelings. That's Sacral or 2nd chakra type development. When you have a balanced sacral chakra you understand what motivates you as something separate from the motivations of others. That's what a lot of teenagers are focused on- finding themselves, their true soul in the midst of lots of options for actions. When you find the balance, you don't need that outside affirmation to know and define yourself. You don't need someone else to "complete you".  When teenagers resist peer pressure it's because they have developed their 2nd chakra in healthy ways.

In today's picture, both those individuals have complete and separate chakra systems. There's no meshing of the chakras. Two people don't come together to develop a newly combined chakra system. There's no "mating" there.  It's an independent source of energy that is fueled and reinforced from within and through your connections to your soul. The people you meet along the way can help you maintain your balance,  but they can't give you balance. That's something between you and your soul.

So if you're looking for a way to spend your money and fuel the marketing machine, I suggest two actions. Buy a big package of those multiple Valentine's like you used to get  in grade school. Give one out to every Soul Buddy you have or want to have. Celebrate the connections you have through shared interests and common experiences. Appreciate the connection they have to your life and the way they allow you to balance your chakras and connect with your soul.

If you want to give something to someone that is very special in your life, and has a special spot in your heart, -do it. But give it in honor of their soul, in the beauty you see in them as an individual soul, separate from your own inner being, and appreciated for that uniqueness.

If you want to have a special Valentine card, a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, or that cute little stuffed creature holding a heart, buy it. Buy it for yourself.  Do it in celebration of your complete, 100% perfect, couldn't be better, soul. Don't wait for someone else to complete you- complete yourself!  Find your soul and honor it.


  1. enjoyed this blog post...check out mine from last valentine's day. :-)

    i, too, am going through my own journey as a healer/empath. mine is not as far along as yours, but it is growing. blessings to you and your journey!

  2. I ready yours- made me smile- can't wait to see what you post this year!!